Things I Wish I Knew Before Shoulder Surgery

Discover 10 real-life things I wish I knew before shoulder surgery to ease pain, recovery, and regain strength with confidence.

I never imagined I’d be that person,  the one trading tips on shoulder surgery and keeping track of how many times I can get into a shirt without cringing. And yet, here I am. And if you’re reading these words, perhaps you’re about to experience the same.

Guess what? You’ve Googled “shoulder surgery recovery,” “how bad is the pain,” “can I sleep on my side after surgery,” and my favorite, “how long before I feel normal again?” Me, too! What I could not find, however, was an up-front, real, no-B.S. answer that let me know what, exactly, most people wish they’d known before shoulder surgery,  up to this point, that is.

In a world obsessed with understanding workplace productivity and getting back to the grind as fast as possible, there’s very little out there that prepares you for the very personal, very real downtime that follows this kind of procedure.

Then I wrote one for you.

These are all of the things that I wish someone had taken me aside and informed me about before I underwent surgery, these unspoken realities that might’ve saved me an enormous amount of stress, confusion, and frustration.

1. The Pain Is Not Only Physical,  It’s Emotional, Too 

Yes, alright, of course. The post-surgery pain is no laughing matter, physically speaking. I prepared myself for the pain of recovery, for the soreness, for the burning that comes when you shift improperly and for the dull, annoying ache that tends to crop up just when you think you can finally relax.

What I didn’t expect? The emotional rollercoaster.

No one speaks about feeling helpless when you can’t even wash your own hair or get your own morning coffee. I burst into tears on day four. Not from pain, but because I couldn’t open one of these peanut butter jars and you were not at home. I know it was silly and insignificant,  but to me, at that time, it was monumental.

The reality is, surgery rattles more than your body. You’re also being tested on your patience, pride, and resilience. You will be required to lean into grace, humor, and humility. And trust me, that is just as difficult as any stretch of physical therapy.

2. Sleep? What’s That? 

You will grow to both adore and despise your bed.

Sleeping in a bed like a regular person for the first few weeks. is optimistic at best. I attempted it. Failed it. Gravity and shoulder surgery do not mix well.

What worked? Renting a recliner. Best decision ever.

If that’s not possible, pile up the wedge pillows and get ready for some Frankenstein-esque sleeping maneuvers. Tip: Leave your meds, water bottle, and tissues within reach at bedtime. You’ll be glad you did at 3 a.m., struggling to sit up one-armed like baby turtle mode.

3. Button-up Shirts Are Going to Be Your Fashion Statement 

Seriously, forget pullovers

I hadn’t anticipated just how difficult it was to get dressed using one functional arm. Spoiler: it’s virtually impossible. The first week, I even had to cut down an old hoodie down the front in order to be able to wear something other than a hospital gown.

Here’s what rescued me:

• Loose button-up shirts (flannel, for the win) 
• Slip-on shoes
• Elastic-waist pants or shorts 
• Front-closure bras (if relevant)

In short, if you can’t get it on with just your non-surgical arm, put it back into the drawer for the time being.

4. Ice Is Magic,  Invest in the Good Stuff 

Everyone is going to advise you to ice your shoulder. Something that no one is going to recommend, however, is that you wrap one of these bags of melting ice cubes in one of your towels to achieve this end.

I hired a cryotherapy machine, and let me assure you,  it was like having a best friend. No leaks, no mess, just cold, relentless relief. It alleviated swelling and pain, particularly that first few days when I was waiting for what felt like an eternity between medications.

You might also utilize reusable gel packs. All you need is a rotation system where you always have one cold one within reach when you need it.

This is one of those things that I wish I’d known before getting shoulder surgery. If I’d known how much of an improvement proper icing could make, I would’ve prepared better.

5. You’re Gonna Need Help,  More Than You Think 

Here’s the reality: I’m stubborn. I thought I’d bounce back in no time and “manage just fine” within the first few days.

The truth is, you’ll be in need of an assistant at least for one week (and probably more)

• Picking up objects from floors (if you like the thrill of acrobatics using your toes and feet)

If you are living alone, it is your cue to line up support in advance. Family, friends, even an occasional part-time caregiver, if you can manage it,  it’s making that crucial difference. Don’t wait to be on that sofa, shampoo in hair, and no means to rinse it off. (Been there.)

6. PT is a Full-Time Job (and it’s Not an Option) 

I’m not going to lie: post-surgery physical therapy for the shoulder. it’s an experience.

In the beginning, the exercises seem ridiculously minor. “You want me to move my fingers?” But every movement, no matter what it is, is crucial. Your range of motion will get better day by day,  but only if you commit to it. Religiously.

Some days, I did not even want to go. Other days, I swore at my therapist under my breath for pushing me to stretch just that little bit more. But gradually, those treatment sessions restored my arm to me.

Stick to it. Do the home exercises. Celebrate the small victories,  moving your arm a little higher, reaching behind your back, sleeping on your side once more. They add up.

At the top of this list of what I wish I’d known before shoulder surgery is just how rigorous and critical PT is. It’s not something that’s an add-on. It’s everything.

7. Meal Prep (aka Future You Will Be So Grateful) 

I didn’t think meal prep mattered. I was wrong,  again.

One-handed cooking is. aka disaster. Not to mention that energy crash that hits you following surgery. The last thing you’d want to do is hover over an open flame when your shoulder is like it’s been run through a meat grinder.

Here’s what succeeded

• Pre-cooked meal dishes
• Snacks that don’t require cutting 
• Protein shakes
•  A large water bottle that has a straw

If your friend is willing to cook, accept. Accept three times. And if you can possibly get a week or two’s meals delivered, do it.

8. There’s Nothing Wrong with Feeling Anxious (and Afraid, and Exhausted) 

Let’s get real for a second

There are days when you feel like a champion. Other days, you look at your sling and just question whether you’re going to become “normal” ever again. That’s just part of it.

I lost it three weeks in. I was drained. I felt like a burden to everyone else. I hated that it took so long and that I relied on other people so much. But you know what? They were real feelings,  and fleeting ones at that.

Recovering from shoulder surgery is as much of an emotional exercise as it is a physical one. Permit yourself to feel it all, though, and remember that you aren’t alone.

If I were to sum up my entire experience in just a handful of words, this is one of the things that I wish that I had known before shoulder surgery,  the fact that the healing of one’s emotions is just as significant.

9. All timelines vary (So desist from comparisons) 

I was guilty of reading a recovery thread where someone claimed to be lifting at six weeks post-surgery. At six weeks, I was just happy to be able to shampoo my hair using both of my hands.

Comparison is a trap.

Your healing process is one of your own. Each person heals at their own pace. And that’s fine. Have faith in your body, listen to your physician, and throw aside that stopwatch mentality of healing time.

10. You Will Come Out Stronger,  in More Ways than One 

Here’s the best part: it does get better.

Things change week by week. The pain eases up. Your motion becomes better. That sling is taken off. You hit a milestone you never thought you could reach. You find yourself smiling because you washed dishes or drove a vehicle or hugged someone without wincing.

And in the process, you know you’re not merely healing,  you’re evolving. Patience, toughness, gratitude, resilience: All of these get an exercise as well

Rehabilitation for my shoulder surgery taught me to slow down, to ask for help, and to celebrate little victories. It wasn’t merely a physical process,  it was an attitudinal change.

In hindsight, these were what I wished I’d known before shoulder surgery that could have made me more relaxed, more confident, and much less stressed.

Checklist: Pre-Surgery Preparation Before Your Shoulder Surgery 

Things to Purchase: 

• Recliner or wedge pillows 
• Button-up shirts and casual apparel 
• The cryotherapy machine or reusable ice packs 
• Large water bottle with straw 
• Slip-on shoes 
• Pre-cooked food or snacks 
• Meds, pre-filled and pre-organized in advance
• Dry shampoo (you’ll thank me later) 

Things To Set Up: 

• Support system (rides, meals, assistance with chores) 
• Physical Therapy Appointments
•  A safe, comfortable recovery area in your home 
• Phone charger at arms’ length

Key Takings: 

• If you’re standing on the edge of surgery, searching for some clarity or confidence, I hope this list of the things I wish I knew before shoulder surgery gives you exactly that.

• No, the road won’t be perfect. But you’re stronger than you think. And you’re not alone.

• So here’s me, a few months post-op, raising my (now functional!) arm to cheer you on. You’ve got this.

Additional Resources:

1. Shoulder Joint Replacement Recovery – OrthoInfo (AAOS): Covers what to expect post-op including pain levels, rehab milestones, and how to gradually regain motion. Great for understanding the entire recovery timeline from an orthopedic expert’s POV.

2. Shoulder Surgery – Johns Hopkins Medicine: Offers an easy-to-follow breakdown of surgery types, what to expect on surgery day, and tips to help reduce post-op discomfort and complications.

3. Shoulder Surgery – Cleveland Clinic: Provides a trusted overview of shoulder procedures and dives deep into common concerns like recovery duration, physical therapy, and pain expectations.